So far, my "no more bad days" campaign is working well. I've caught myself thinking negatively about things or letting the past creep up on me a couple of times. If I catch it in time, so far, I've been able to nip it.
I am becoming more certain, with time, that I need more to do. Something steady and consistent that I can be proud of. A place to go where I have to wear real clothes and act like a professional. I really feel like I need to go back to work (in a real job.) I think a real job would help my self-esteem a lot and make me feel better about myself altogether. It would also give me less time to dwell on the past, feel sorry for myself, and otherwise let things get to me. Some might say that I should take my current situation and be happy with it. There was a time when I would have thought that having no job to go to and having an abundance of free time, and being able financially to get away with it, would be a great thing. Being in that situation, its not so great. Its boring and lonely and neither is good for my mood in a general sense. There is the hurdle of what to do with the kids if I go back to work (Mic is taken care of for now, but he'll be back home sooner or later). But there are plenty of households in America in which both parents work and they seem to manage.
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